Whenever I put a hood on, I feel like I will look all mysterious and dark and dangerous like a character from Assassin’s Creed.
I don’t. I just look like a weirdo. With a hood on.
This is basically how I feel about everything I wear, everyday.
In my head, I think, “Oh yeah, totes rockin’ this look!”
And even though I have a full length mirror that I use, it’s not until I’ve left my apartment and catch a glimpse of myself while passing a store front window or something that I realize what I’ve done.
I had to turn down the opportunity to do something that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.
With some effort on my part, I could have made it happen.
Instead, I let a couple different factors hold me back. I made a promise to myself not to regret things, but this decision to turn my back on a dream will haunt me.
I feel like I’ve just made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. Harder even than my choice to move 1200 miles away from friends, family, and everything I ever knew.
The logical, “responsible adult” part of me says it was the right decision.
But my heart, my spirit, that part of you that knows what’s best for your well-being (my intuition?) is so disappointed and hurt right now. Crushed, even.